So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
