you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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