the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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