3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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