I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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