I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
