she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
