Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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