i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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