i wish my penis had a tongue
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
