Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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