But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
