I like to think it a success when the cops are called
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
