bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
