i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
