so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
