well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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