I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I can feel your judgement through the phone
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
