I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
