Dual....:-)
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
