I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
