I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
her facebook's as public as her vagina
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize