that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
