I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
