like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
