Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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