I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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