I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
