who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize