i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
