u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
