Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
