It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
