I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
