so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
