Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize