is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
