just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
