we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
