State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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