Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
