I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
