I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
