Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
