i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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