nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
