Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
