i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
