blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
