You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm jealous of your bromance
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
