I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize