Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You ruined the universe
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
