I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Randomize