Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He passed out mid-signature
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
