That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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