I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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