At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
