no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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