meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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