So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
