I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
