You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
