Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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