So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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