You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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