When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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