marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
