like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize