I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
