in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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